It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know how we do. Next up, the perennial also-rans, the Dallas Mavericks.
Classification
Desperate Men Standing Against Time
Why We Care
The Mavericks have mattered all decade because of Dirk Nowitzki and the deep pockets of owner Mark Cuban. Dirk is getting older and the decline may have already begun. Mark Cuban is getting desperate. How many moves have the Mavericks made since this time last year? Many, and not insignificant ones. Desperation and a sense of urgency should drive this team to go all out this year, making big moves when needed, playing hard, and likely surprising people with their hunger. A bear backed into a corner is the most aggressive.
Significant Beards
José Juan Barea: Barely there. Insufficient data for scoring.
Tyson Chandler: Full yet flat. Scares off most predators.
Dominique Jones: Unnecessary under-chin face-trim. An MFA grad’s first novel.
Shawn Marion: A light patch framing the protruding rectangle that is his jaw. Subtle but disturbing.
Dirk Nowitzki: Like his skin has tufts. Creepy, and a near-crime. Written citation.
DeShawn Stevenson: Rugged, barely tamed. 4/5 hatchets.
Jason Terry: Odd and patchy fuzz. Either incapable of growing a full beard or so virile that he can’t stay clean-shaven for the length of a photoshoot. Inconclusive.
Guiding Text
Against Nature
If They Were A Vacuum Cleaner They Would Be...
A Dyson.
LeBron on the Mavericks
The man wouldn’t stop yelling. He was probably in his mid-twenties, obviously quite drunk and enjoying himself far too much. Some of LeBron’s entourage gave him questioning looks, but LeBron ignored them. If the man wanted to yell he could yell. It was warm, full blown Indian summer and lots of people wandered around the outdoor shopping center. Fake rocks played radio hits and families paid too much for ice cream and movies. The line at the Cheesecake Factory was interminable. Not that LeBron wanted in lines at the Cheesecake Factory. The man kept yelling. All the hits. Coward. Traitor. Loser.
The man was white, but they were in a suburban Dallas shopping center. This was not surprising. Men who yelled at him in suburban shopping centers were always white. LeBron turned and looked at him. He was a good thirty-forty feet away. He was keeping his distance. He was wearing a Cavaliers hat. Which was fine. Sometimes they wore Lakers hats and the things they yelled were meaner, but easier to ignore. He kept walking, didn’t make eye contact with the man, but he listened.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
2010 Season Preview: Cleveland Cavaliers
It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know how we do. Next up, the sadtown sadsters, the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Classification
Greek Tragedy
Why We Care
We might not like staring at the aftermath of a particularly gruesome car wreck, but we all do.
Significant Beards
Daniel Gibson: Cradles his chin like a cup. Minimal support.
Joey Graham: Scraggly, craggy beard. Keep far away.
Danny Green: Narrow and strangely curved, like he has a second smile. That means we’re averaging one each.
Ryan Hollins: Missed a spot while shaving. Repeatedly.
Jamario Moon: Waxing under-chin crescent. Heavy cloud cover with limited visibility.
Leon Powell: Shadow Beard plus triangle soul patch. 1-up.
Ramon Sessions: Square-outline beard. Either his chin is a box or he’s created a cunning illusion. Well-framed.
Anderson Varejao: Beardless and suffering. In need of a beard transplant. His scalp can be the donor.
Jawad Williams: Like he used to have a box-top but it fell off his head and onto his chin.
Guiding Text
Hatchet
If They Were A Piece of Living Room Furniture They Would Be...
An ottoman.
LeBron on the Cavaliers
Another year. They would be better, they had to be better, they were always getting better. He was getting better. He would stand tall, as he always had, and this would be the year. He trembled. How many times had he said that? How many times had he heard it? When would it be true? These things take time. These things take time. It took Jordan seven years, why should it take LeBron James any less? He stayed and that’s what mattered. Loyalty? Loyalty.
His hands shook. He would win, eventually. It was inevitable. He was Chosen. That was the point. This was all according to plan. The team would get better, he would get better, and they would win. Manifest destiny. They would trade up, they would improve, someone else would break out. It would happen, it has to happen. It was written and so it shall it come to pass. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Classification
Greek Tragedy
Why We Care
We might not like staring at the aftermath of a particularly gruesome car wreck, but we all do.
Significant Beards
Daniel Gibson: Cradles his chin like a cup. Minimal support.
Joey Graham: Scraggly, craggy beard. Keep far away.
Danny Green: Narrow and strangely curved, like he has a second smile. That means we’re averaging one each.
Ryan Hollins: Missed a spot while shaving. Repeatedly.
Jamario Moon: Waxing under-chin crescent. Heavy cloud cover with limited visibility.
Leon Powell: Shadow Beard plus triangle soul patch. 1-up.
Ramon Sessions: Square-outline beard. Either his chin is a box or he’s created a cunning illusion. Well-framed.
Anderson Varejao: Beardless and suffering. In need of a beard transplant. His scalp can be the donor.
Jawad Williams: Like he used to have a box-top but it fell off his head and onto his chin.
Guiding Text
Hatchet
If They Were A Piece of Living Room Furniture They Would Be...
An ottoman.
LeBron on the Cavaliers
Another year. They would be better, they had to be better, they were always getting better. He was getting better. He would stand tall, as he always had, and this would be the year. He trembled. How many times had he said that? How many times had he heard it? When would it be true? These things take time. These things take time. It took Jordan seven years, why should it take LeBron James any less? He stayed and that’s what mattered. Loyalty? Loyalty.
His hands shook. He would win, eventually. It was inevitable. He was Chosen. That was the point. This was all according to plan. The team would get better, he would get better, and they would win. Manifest destiny. They would trade up, they would improve, someone else would break out. It would happen, it has to happen. It was written and so it shall it come to pass. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
2010 Season Preview: Chicago Bulls
It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know how we do. Next up, the angry bovines in the proverbial china shop: the Chicago Bulls.
Classification
Dark Horse Contenders
Why We Care
This could be one of the very best teams in basketball next year, and somehow, no one is talking about it. Some would argue that these young guns are more Hawks than Thunder, but they are really more mushrooms than onions, if you know what I mean. No? Okay, well that's fine too. The Bulls are going to be very good and they will matter and that's that.
Significant Beards
Keith Bogans: Minimal goatee. Frank Stella approved.
Carlos Boozer: Tightly trimmed, near full. A+.
Joakim Noah: Notoriously patchy semi-full. Nickname-worthy.
Derrick Rose: Small mustache, divided goatee. Slight fright.
Brian Scalabrine: Ginger goatee. WHY?
Kurt Thomas: Goatee. Prehistoric, 3/5 trilobites.
Guiding Text
The Epic of Gilgamesh
If They Were A Vegetable They Would Be...
Summer squash.
LeBron on the Bulls
LeBron looked at the statue for a long time. Derrick walked by and stopped. LeBron crossed his arms. Derrick was about to speak, but LeBron shot a look at him. They stared at the statue in silence. It wasn’t long before the others started coming. Luol and Kyle came in, talking quietly, but they stopped and took up the study. Joakim called out to them, but no one answered. He walked past, indignant. He soon came back, Taj and some of the others following. He was about to speak, but Derrick put a hand on his arm. Tom watched the huddle of players from the distance. He gave them five minutes, waiting for their attention to shift, but no one moved. He hesitated.
“What shall we do LeBron?”
“You shall not make for yourself a graven image.”
“I’m sorry. Or else, what?”
“I will destroy your high places and cut down your incense altars; I will heap your carcasses on the carcasses of your idols. I shall abhor you.”
They were silent. Tom looked at the expressions of the men before him. Derrick nodded.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Classification
Dark Horse Contenders
Why We Care
This could be one of the very best teams in basketball next year, and somehow, no one is talking about it. Some would argue that these young guns are more Hawks than Thunder, but they are really more mushrooms than onions, if you know what I mean. No? Okay, well that's fine too. The Bulls are going to be very good and they will matter and that's that.
Significant Beards
Keith Bogans: Minimal goatee. Frank Stella approved.
Carlos Boozer: Tightly trimmed, near full. A+.
Joakim Noah: Notoriously patchy semi-full. Nickname-worthy.
Derrick Rose: Small mustache, divided goatee. Slight fright.
Brian Scalabrine: Ginger goatee. WHY?
Kurt Thomas: Goatee. Prehistoric, 3/5 trilobites.
Guiding Text
The Epic of Gilgamesh
If They Were A Vegetable They Would Be...
Summer squash.
LeBron on the Bulls
LeBron looked at the statue for a long time. Derrick walked by and stopped. LeBron crossed his arms. Derrick was about to speak, but LeBron shot a look at him. They stared at the statue in silence. It wasn’t long before the others started coming. Luol and Kyle came in, talking quietly, but they stopped and took up the study. Joakim called out to them, but no one answered. He walked past, indignant. He soon came back, Taj and some of the others following. He was about to speak, but Derrick put a hand on his arm. Tom watched the huddle of players from the distance. He gave them five minutes, waiting for their attention to shift, but no one moved. He hesitated.
“What shall we do LeBron?”
“You shall not make for yourself a graven image.”
“I’m sorry. Or else, what?”
“I will destroy your high places and cut down your incense altars; I will heap your carcasses on the carcasses of your idols. I shall abhor you.”
They were silent. Tom looked at the expressions of the men before him. Derrick nodded.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Friday, October 15, 2010
2010 Season Preview: Charlotte Bobcats
It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know how we do. Next up, the pride of Mecklenburg County, the Charlotte Mikecats.
Classification
Odd Team That You Should Check In On
Why We Care
The Bobcats have assembled a fine collection of extraordinary athletes and reclamation projects, with Gerald Wallace and Tyrus Thomas leading Camp A, and Shaun Livingston, Darius Miles, Javaris Crittenton and Kwame Brown leading Camp B. This is a gutsy team. They try hard, they play tough, and they struggle to score. You should watch them because their mediocrity is more about being on the fringe than being on the margins.
Significant Beards
D.J. Augustin: "My jaw is so rugged that it casts a hair shadow.”
Derrick Brown: Sculpted, but looks like a puddle. Failure.
Kwame Brown: Unambitious, hiding a double chin. D.
Sherron Collins: Another Shadow Beard. Sloppy and big.
Javaris Crittenton: Pubescently thin. Time to shave.
Boris Diaw: Kind of pubic. C-
Gerald Henderson: Too narrow. Some sort of food stain.
Shaun Livingston: Baby’s first goatee. Half cup of cheerios.
Dominic McGuire: Thin but competent. A book of contemporary poetry.
Darius Miles: Uneven but ambitious. Oliver Stone.
Thomas Tyrus: Under-chin fuzz, possibly intentional. Two thumbs down.
Gerald Wallace: Unremarkable goatee. After the curve, B+.
Guiding Text
Tender Buttons
If They Were A Board Game They Would Be
Chinese checkers.
LeBron on the Bobcats
“First, acknowledge that essentially a rebound and a block are the same thing: a well-timed leap. Now, reduce the leap to a simple taxonomy: successful and unsuccessful. Once you have done that, the key to success is to internalize and accept a number of principles. First, a failure to leap successfully is an instantaneous death. Second, the success of your leap is tied to the spin value of a random proton. Internalize that and make it your reality. Once it happens, you can never fail. Because your consciousness will abruptly cease in any world where you fail, from your point of view, in the world you inhabit it, you will never witness yourself fail. Quantum immortality.”
“But, Gerald, this means that in most of the relevant worlds, everyone sees you die when you fail. In most of these worlds people just see you die. What’s the point if you fail most of the time?”
“Does a world where you have no conscious presence even count as a world? I can only experience the worlds where I succeed. The others, simply don’t exist for me. You can’t be troubled by all possible worlds.For years I was concerned about such things, but it was meaningless without consciousness. That is how I block. That is how I rebound. That is how I built the pyramids. They did not build themselves.”
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Classification
Odd Team That You Should Check In On
Why We Care
The Bobcats have assembled a fine collection of extraordinary athletes and reclamation projects, with Gerald Wallace and Tyrus Thomas leading Camp A, and Shaun Livingston, Darius Miles, Javaris Crittenton and Kwame Brown leading Camp B. This is a gutsy team. They try hard, they play tough, and they struggle to score. You should watch them because their mediocrity is more about being on the fringe than being on the margins.
Significant Beards
D.J. Augustin: "My jaw is so rugged that it casts a hair shadow.”
Derrick Brown: Sculpted, but looks like a puddle. Failure.
Kwame Brown: Unambitious, hiding a double chin. D.
Sherron Collins: Another Shadow Beard. Sloppy and big.
Javaris Crittenton: Pubescently thin. Time to shave.
Boris Diaw: Kind of pubic. C-
Gerald Henderson: Too narrow. Some sort of food stain.
Shaun Livingston: Baby’s first goatee. Half cup of cheerios.
Dominic McGuire: Thin but competent. A book of contemporary poetry.
Darius Miles: Uneven but ambitious. Oliver Stone.
Thomas Tyrus: Under-chin fuzz, possibly intentional. Two thumbs down.
Gerald Wallace: Unremarkable goatee. After the curve, B+.
Guiding Text
Tender Buttons
If They Were A Board Game They Would Be
Chinese checkers.
LeBron on the Bobcats
“First, acknowledge that essentially a rebound and a block are the same thing: a well-timed leap. Now, reduce the leap to a simple taxonomy: successful and unsuccessful. Once you have done that, the key to success is to internalize and accept a number of principles. First, a failure to leap successfully is an instantaneous death. Second, the success of your leap is tied to the spin value of a random proton. Internalize that and make it your reality. Once it happens, you can never fail. Because your consciousness will abruptly cease in any world where you fail, from your point of view, in the world you inhabit it, you will never witness yourself fail. Quantum immortality.”
“But, Gerald, this means that in most of the relevant worlds, everyone sees you die when you fail. In most of these worlds people just see you die. What’s the point if you fail most of the time?”
“Does a world where you have no conscious presence even count as a world? I can only experience the worlds where I succeed. The others, simply don’t exist for me. You can’t be troubled by all possible worlds.For years I was concerned about such things, but it was meaningless without consciousness. That is how I block. That is how I rebound. That is how I built the pyramids. They did not build themselves.”
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
2010 Season Preview: Boston Celtics
It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know how we do. Next up, your cranky grandpas who keep on balling: the Boston Celtics.
Classification
Superstar-Loaded Team One Bad Step Away From Disintegration
Why We Care
How many Hall of Famers do you think are on this team? How many catastrophes in waiting are on this team? Aging superstars, volatile youngsters (and oldsters), and one bad practice fall away from total disaster, the Celtics are the Bad News Bears if the Bad News Bears were never underdogs.
Significant Beards
Ray Allen: Micro-goatee. Consistent. 40% from 3.
Marquis Daniels: Mustache on chin. PG-13.
Kevin Garnett: Hitler on chin. NC-17.
Shaq: Goatee. Satishaqtory.
Kendrick Perkins: Coffee-house goatee. Bongos and snaps.
Paul Pierce: The "Paul Pierce". Pentagon declines comment.
Nate Robinson: Neck-goatee. Duly noted.
Delonte West: Trimmed, red, goatee. 2 out of 3 loaded guns.
Guiding Text
Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood
If They Were A John Hughes Movie They Would Be...
The Breakfast Club
LeBron on the Celtics
It was chilly, but they were all there. Not just the current guys, but the ring of honor guys. The older guys and the just plain old ones all walked to the bridge with him. “Tradition.” That was the only word he’d heard all summer. That and “coward.” No one called Kevin that when he came, but no one dared to call Kevin anything. Did you know that if you go to a team because you’d have better teammates there, you are a coward? It’s true. If you make the teammates come to you, you are a hero. But if you go, you are a coward. When LeBron came to Boston, he was a coward, because somehow, by wanting so badly to have great teammates and win more, he had demonstrated that he didn’t want to win more. It was something like that. Sometimes the argument seemed to flip and losing was somehow ennobling. To win for a new team is mercenary, but to lose for one team your entire career is saint-worthy. Didn’t matter here.
Boston had a tradition of mercenary saints. In Boston, your past can be forgiven if you embrace their past. Kevin was a lunatic in the wilderness, but now, he’s a proud keeper of the sacred traditions. He screamed now and the others just laughed with joy. His directions were angry, solemn. All the other new Celtics went first, and LeBron took the deference graciously. He watched Shaq make the toss with surprising ease, while Jermaine stumbled. Semih hesitated a bit, unsure if this was was really happening, afraid he’d misunderstoond, but Harangody heaved with vigor. When it came his turn, LeBron tried to be as quick as he could without being rude. He tossed the screaming man into the Charles River and turned to walk away. Bill Russel’s face was still and stony, but Larry Bird beamed.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Classification
Superstar-Loaded Team One Bad Step Away From Disintegration
Why We Care
How many Hall of Famers do you think are on this team? How many catastrophes in waiting are on this team? Aging superstars, volatile youngsters (and oldsters), and one bad practice fall away from total disaster, the Celtics are the Bad News Bears if the Bad News Bears were never underdogs.
Significant Beards
Ray Allen: Micro-goatee. Consistent. 40% from 3.
Marquis Daniels: Mustache on chin. PG-13.
Kevin Garnett: Hitler on chin. NC-17.
Shaq: Goatee. Satishaqtory.
Kendrick Perkins: Coffee-house goatee. Bongos and snaps.
Paul Pierce: The "Paul Pierce". Pentagon declines comment.
Nate Robinson: Neck-goatee. Duly noted.
Delonte West: Trimmed, red, goatee. 2 out of 3 loaded guns.
Guiding Text
Ode: Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood
If They Were A John Hughes Movie They Would Be...
The Breakfast Club
LeBron on the Celtics
It was chilly, but they were all there. Not just the current guys, but the ring of honor guys. The older guys and the just plain old ones all walked to the bridge with him. “Tradition.” That was the only word he’d heard all summer. That and “coward.” No one called Kevin that when he came, but no one dared to call Kevin anything. Did you know that if you go to a team because you’d have better teammates there, you are a coward? It’s true. If you make the teammates come to you, you are a hero. But if you go, you are a coward. When LeBron came to Boston, he was a coward, because somehow, by wanting so badly to have great teammates and win more, he had demonstrated that he didn’t want to win more. It was something like that. Sometimes the argument seemed to flip and losing was somehow ennobling. To win for a new team is mercenary, but to lose for one team your entire career is saint-worthy. Didn’t matter here.
Boston had a tradition of mercenary saints. In Boston, your past can be forgiven if you embrace their past. Kevin was a lunatic in the wilderness, but now, he’s a proud keeper of the sacred traditions. He screamed now and the others just laughed with joy. His directions were angry, solemn. All the other new Celtics went first, and LeBron took the deference graciously. He watched Shaq make the toss with surprising ease, while Jermaine stumbled. Semih hesitated a bit, unsure if this was was really happening, afraid he’d misunderstoond, but Harangody heaved with vigor. When it came his turn, LeBron tried to be as quick as he could without being rude. He tossed the screaming man into the Charles River and turned to walk away. Bill Russel’s face was still and stony, but Larry Bird beamed.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
2010 Season Preview: Atlanta Hawks
It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know the rules. First up: the dirtiest birds, the Atlanta Hawks
Classification
Team That Should Be More Exciting Than It Is
Why We Care
The promise of Josh Smith can't be ignored, Al Horford is a joy to watch play and you may think Joe Johnson is overpaid and overrated, but there aren't ten basketball players in the entire world who can bring what he brings to the table. The Hawks should be exciting. We care because one day they might be.
Significant Beards
Evan Brock: Terrible goatee. Shave that. Also, who are you?
Jason Collins: Goatee. Weak.
Al Horford: Yet another stubbly goatee. What is it with this team?
Joe Johnson: Potential for the sweetest mustache in all of pro-basketball. Incomplete.
Zaza Pachulia: No beard. However, this.
Josh Powell: Stubbly goatee. 2 out 5 deja vu's.
Josh Smith: Goatee. Acceptable point five.
Jeff Teague: UPDATE: 'Stache gone. VERDICT: Improvement.
Etan Thomas: Goatee. A Goatee America Can Love.
Marvin Williams: Mustache. 3 stars.
Guiding Text
Waiting for Lefty
If They Were A Pokemon They Would Be...
Machamp
LeBron on the Hawks
Leaves lazily floated across the water’s surface. Leaves, pine needles, bugs and dust. Sand and some of the heavier bits had already sunk to the bottom. It had been a while since anyone had used the pool. A month or two. Summer turns to fall quick, though, apparently fall was interminable. Sharp jabs of winter would punch through eventually, but for the most part the weather would stay in that uncomfortable middle ground. The mornings where cool, even cold and he’d pack a sweater, but in the afternoon he’d be sweaty, awkward in the cardigan. There is something to be said for a more-defined fall.
On the other hand, it was mid-October, and, conceivably, he could still use the pool. That was nice. He skimmed the leaves and grime off the top with the net. He saw a couple of feathers floating on the surface. Dark feathers. From ducks? Ducks or geese. Were they just stopping through? Did they start here and go to the tropics or did they start in Canada with the purpose of ultimately ending here, floating atop Lake LeBron. He supposed he’d see them fly back North in a few months. Do ducks fly in formation or is that just geese? LeBron skimmed some more feathers off the pool. He wondered how much of the year birds spent migrating.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Classification
Team That Should Be More Exciting Than It Is
Why We Care
The promise of Josh Smith can't be ignored, Al Horford is a joy to watch play and you may think Joe Johnson is overpaid and overrated, but there aren't ten basketball players in the entire world who can bring what he brings to the table. The Hawks should be exciting. We care because one day they might be.
Significant Beards
Evan Brock: Terrible goatee. Shave that. Also, who are you?
Jason Collins: Goatee. Weak.
Al Horford: Yet another stubbly goatee. What is it with this team?
Joe Johnson: Potential for the sweetest mustache in all of pro-basketball. Incomplete.
Zaza Pachulia: No beard. However, this.
Josh Powell: Stubbly goatee. 2 out 5 deja vu's.
Josh Smith: Goatee. Acceptable point five.
Jeff Teague: UPDATE: 'Stache gone. VERDICT: Improvement.
Etan Thomas: Goatee. A Goatee America Can Love.
Marvin Williams: Mustache. 3 stars.
Guiding Text
Waiting for Lefty
If They Were A Pokemon They Would Be...
Machamp
LeBron on the Hawks
Leaves lazily floated across the water’s surface. Leaves, pine needles, bugs and dust. Sand and some of the heavier bits had already sunk to the bottom. It had been a while since anyone had used the pool. A month or two. Summer turns to fall quick, though, apparently fall was interminable. Sharp jabs of winter would punch through eventually, but for the most part the weather would stay in that uncomfortable middle ground. The mornings where cool, even cold and he’d pack a sweater, but in the afternoon he’d be sweaty, awkward in the cardigan. There is something to be said for a more-defined fall.
On the other hand, it was mid-October, and, conceivably, he could still use the pool. That was nice. He skimmed the leaves and grime off the top with the net. He saw a couple of feathers floating on the surface. Dark feathers. From ducks? Ducks or geese. Were they just stopping through? Did they start here and go to the tropics or did they start in Canada with the purpose of ultimately ending here, floating atop Lake LeBron. He supposed he’d see them fly back North in a few months. Do ducks fly in formation or is that just geese? LeBron skimmed some more feathers off the pool. He wondered how much of the year birds spent migrating.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
2010 Previews
Hello, dear friends. It's been some time since I've been blogging, but it's been some time since the end of the NBA season. The hiatus ends now. What am I saying? Team previews, my friend. And this year, I might even make it through all thirty teams. In any case, I wanted to explain the format of the previews and answer all your questions ahead of time.
Each preview will start off with a brief synopsis of who the team is and why we care and then segue into the questions you care about: What kind of beards are they packing? What text guides the spirit of this team? What kind of analogy would it take to explain this team? What would it be like if LeBron had chosen this team? What is the decoding "Rosetta Stone" that lays bare all the mysteries that this team has to offer?
I promise this and more. Or maybe less. Depends on how long it takes. In any event: Stay Tuned.
Each preview will start off with a brief synopsis of who the team is and why we care and then segue into the questions you care about: What kind of beards are they packing? What text guides the spirit of this team? What kind of analogy would it take to explain this team? What would it be like if LeBron had chosen this team? What is the decoding "Rosetta Stone" that lays bare all the mysteries that this team has to offer?
I promise this and more. Or maybe less. Depends on how long it takes. In any event: Stay Tuned.
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