Welcome to another wonderful installment in the web's best NBA team previews. So wonderful that you will be filled with wonder and astonishment and wonderful wonder. To check out all the entries in the series, you can click here.
Today, we will be discussing the Washington Wizards, a really good team that had a really bad season and continue to have some of the most repulsive uniforms in contemporary American sports. They also happen to be pretty ridiculously awesome.
Classification
Team That I Adore
What I Like
Brendan Haywood and Antawn Jamison are University of North Carolina alumni. Caron Butler used to drink massive quantities of Mountain Dew during every game. Javale McGee, Nick Young, and Andray Blatche are easily the funniest, loosest group of young back-ups in the league. DeShawn Stevenson's stupid tattoo's confuse bloggers and sometimes he does the "I can't feel my face" thing, which is pretty awesome. Gilbert Arenas is Gilbert Arenas, and that used to be more than enough for everyone.
What I Don't Like
Brendan Haywood's homophobia is extremely distasteful at best. Caron Butler stopped drinking Mountain Dew. DeShawn Stevenson's tattoos are pretty stupid. Gilbert Arenas has vowed to stop being interesting.
They still all seem to be serious about their rivalry with the Cavs.
All these things point to increased focus and dedication to winning. Unfortunately, I never cared if the Wizards won any games.
Mythology
Gilbert Arenas is powered by swagger the same way that nuclear power plants are powered by atomic processes. Specifically, for years he operated like a breeder reactor, using his swag to generate heat, energy, toxic mutant mutations, and even more swag than he started out with. This made him one of the best and most interesting players in the NBA and one of the most delightful. He is a starter on the Love in the Time of Lebron All-League Team. Visions of a Satanic backcourt of Gilbert and J. R. Smith, shooting with no remorse and driving with supreme athleticism make the self-proclaimed defenders of the doctrinal purity of "Right Way" basketball wake up in a cold sweat. Gilbert wasn't a true subversive, but his swag was, indeed, phenomenal.
That's why the news of a quiet and focused Gil are so troubling to me. Gil is a good player, and he doesn't need a lot of swagger to be a good basketball player. However, if he wants to reach the transcendent heights he once dared , he needs to turn his swag on (I believe that's how Diogenes phrased it). Gil's internal reactor used to burn hot and messy, leaving a trail of mutant eccentricity and glowing power. This is the problem of fission. So far, Gil has been playing his usual style but with less of what the insufferable fans of basketball call "antics." Does this mean that Gil has learned to play without swag? No, my friends: This merely means that Gilbert Arenas has uncovered the cold fusion version of swagger-- theoretically, always possible, just highly improbable. But then, that's Gilbert Arenas.
Prophecy
Assuming Gil really has found the cold-fusion method of swag processing and generation, the Wizards are poised for a poised season, filled with wins and minus all of the "antics" that gave casual fans pause. On the other hand, Gilbert Arenas is not the most reliable or consistent person on the planet. Odds are that the Wizards will be a few games either above or below .500 and that Gilbert, suddenly, and without explanation resume his former position. On the other hand, this reversion, this lapse, will make me love Gil even more.
Also, Caron Butler resumes his Mountain Dew habit.
Related Media
Verdict
Watch as much as you can despite the terrible uniforms. Hope that Gilbert acts like old Gilbert. If the team decides to get too focused, drop them.
Showing posts with label antawn jamison. Show all posts
Showing posts with label antawn jamison. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Saturday Catch-Up: UNC and Michael Jordan.
UNC Alumni Game
Last weekend, the Dean Smith center in Chapel Hill played host to an exhibition game made up of former UNC basketball players. It was, in short ridiculous. Some highlights: Vince Carter dunking off a ball bounced off the backboard (twice). Wayne Ellington dunking on Antawn Jamison. Ty Lawson crossing over Raymond Felton. Danny Green, the surprising high scorer, was draining threes from all over. Everyone was there (except Rasheed Wallace), and it was beautiful. LIKE A DREAM.
Here are some highlights:
Here is the box score.
The others were all there. You'd see them around town all week. It was UNC basketball nirvana. Some bits of related miscellany:
Rashad McCants Still Looking For A Job
I love Rashad. He treats his fans pretty well, despite anything I may have said in the past. How many NBA players give out their Xbox Live handle, their AIM, and their BlackBerry Messenger info in an effort to keep talking and playing with all of his fans? Not too many. He's a good guy and a helluva baller, but his inablity to get a job right now apparently got the Carolina family concerned. This is a nice article about the resulting discussion.
Marvin Williams Middle Name
I love Marvin. I may have, however, unfairly called him a nerd. Why do I now step back from this? His middle name is Gaye. Marvin Gaye Williams. This man can not, by law, be a nerd. Apologies all round.
The Man
Also at the Alumni Game, there was a Man. His name is Michael Jordan. Last night he was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Now, thousands of words have already been written about this event and MJ and what he means. I just want to make two points: When people talk about the greatness of Carolina Basketball, they usually link it to Dean Smith, and this is indisputable. The first NCAA Championship that Dean Smith won, however, is owed to Michael Jordan, that final winning shot against Georgetown. Without Jordan, Dean Smith has one championship. A great coach, but not one of the greatest of all time. Carolina Basketball, as an institution, plays down the role of Jordan, instead emphasizing a grand tradition of which Jordan is only a small part. Amazingly though, this is one area in which Jordan maybe doesn't get enough credit. Dean Smith is the Man in Chapel Hill, but what would he have been without Jordan?
The second point I want to emphasize is one about the NBA. The NBA, unlike most other sports leagues, is one where the central driving narrative of the league is easily and readily apparent. The individual struggles of the various cities and teams to win championships is a tiny, minor part of the NBA. If I were trying to explain to a Hollywood studio guy what the NBA is about in terms of it's spine or central story, the answer is easy: Who is the heir of Jordan? Is it Lebron? WILL HE FULFILL THE PROPHECY?
Jordan was the Greatest of All Time (some proof) and anyone who suggests otherwise is flatly wrong. Basketball since his reign, and even during the latter part of it, has been preoccupied with the search for a worthy heir. This is what has been driving the story of the NBA. For a while, we thought it was Kobe, but the sun is setting on him and it looks like he was merely a mirage. Unless he wins the championship every season for the next three seasons, and even if he does, it's hard to credit Kobe as a credible heir.
But what of Lebron, the Chosen One? Well, using some projections, it looks like he's going to have a real chance at surpassing the statistical achievements of Jordan, at least. The guys at Basketball Prospectus break it down here. Will he win six championships though? Much harder to say. But, this, the underlying thought behind this question, is the reason we watch the NBA. The spine, the essence, the main plot of the NBA is whether Lebron will meet expectations and surpass the achievements of Jordan. There are subplots, rivalries, and championships; these are interesting and entertaining details, but they really are just subplots. When boiled down to its bare essence, the question is as simple and elemental as you might imagine: Will anyone ever be as good as Jordan?
This is why we can't take our eyes off the Chosen One. The era of Jordan is officially done. Now, we live in the time of Lebron.
That is all.
Last weekend, the Dean Smith center in Chapel Hill played host to an exhibition game made up of former UNC basketball players. It was, in short ridiculous. Some highlights: Vince Carter dunking off a ball bounced off the backboard (twice). Wayne Ellington dunking on Antawn Jamison. Ty Lawson crossing over Raymond Felton. Danny Green, the surprising high scorer, was draining threes from all over. Everyone was there (except Rasheed Wallace), and it was beautiful. LIKE A DREAM.
Here are some highlights:
Here is the box score.
The others were all there. You'd see them around town all week. It was UNC basketball nirvana. Some bits of related miscellany:
Rashad McCants Still Looking For A Job
I love Rashad. He treats his fans pretty well, despite anything I may have said in the past. How many NBA players give out their Xbox Live handle, their AIM, and their BlackBerry Messenger info in an effort to keep talking and playing with all of his fans? Not too many. He's a good guy and a helluva baller, but his inablity to get a job right now apparently got the Carolina family concerned. This is a nice article about the resulting discussion.
Marvin Williams Middle Name
I love Marvin. I may have, however, unfairly called him a nerd. Why do I now step back from this? His middle name is Gaye. Marvin Gaye Williams. This man can not, by law, be a nerd. Apologies all round.
The Man
Also at the Alumni Game, there was a Man. His name is Michael Jordan. Last night he was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame. Now, thousands of words have already been written about this event and MJ and what he means. I just want to make two points: When people talk about the greatness of Carolina Basketball, they usually link it to Dean Smith, and this is indisputable. The first NCAA Championship that Dean Smith won, however, is owed to Michael Jordan, that final winning shot against Georgetown. Without Jordan, Dean Smith has one championship. A great coach, but not one of the greatest of all time. Carolina Basketball, as an institution, plays down the role of Jordan, instead emphasizing a grand tradition of which Jordan is only a small part. Amazingly though, this is one area in which Jordan maybe doesn't get enough credit. Dean Smith is the Man in Chapel Hill, but what would he have been without Jordan?
The second point I want to emphasize is one about the NBA. The NBA, unlike most other sports leagues, is one where the central driving narrative of the league is easily and readily apparent. The individual struggles of the various cities and teams to win championships is a tiny, minor part of the NBA. If I were trying to explain to a Hollywood studio guy what the NBA is about in terms of it's spine or central story, the answer is easy: Who is the heir of Jordan? Is it Lebron? WILL HE FULFILL THE PROPHECY?
Jordan was the Greatest of All Time (some proof) and anyone who suggests otherwise is flatly wrong. Basketball since his reign, and even during the latter part of it, has been preoccupied with the search for a worthy heir. This is what has been driving the story of the NBA. For a while, we thought it was Kobe, but the sun is setting on him and it looks like he was merely a mirage. Unless he wins the championship every season for the next three seasons, and even if he does, it's hard to credit Kobe as a credible heir.
But what of Lebron, the Chosen One? Well, using some projections, it looks like he's going to have a real chance at surpassing the statistical achievements of Jordan, at least. The guys at Basketball Prospectus break it down here. Will he win six championships though? Much harder to say. But, this, the underlying thought behind this question, is the reason we watch the NBA. The spine, the essence, the main plot of the NBA is whether Lebron will meet expectations and surpass the achievements of Jordan. There are subplots, rivalries, and championships; these are interesting and entertaining details, but they really are just subplots. When boiled down to its bare essence, the question is as simple and elemental as you might imagine: Will anyone ever be as good as Jordan?
This is why we can't take our eyes off the Chosen One. The era of Jordan is officially done. Now, we live in the time of Lebron.
That is all.
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