It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know the rules. First up: the dirtiest birds, the Atlanta Hawks
Classification
Team That Should Be More Exciting Than It Is
Why We Care
The promise of Josh Smith can't be ignored, Al Horford is a joy to watch play and you may think Joe Johnson is overpaid and overrated, but there aren't ten basketball players in the entire world who can bring what he brings to the table. The Hawks should be exciting. We care because one day they might be.
Significant Beards
Evan Brock: Terrible goatee. Shave that. Also, who are you?
Jason Collins: Goatee. Weak.
Al Horford: Yet another stubbly goatee. What is it with this team?
Joe Johnson: Potential for the sweetest mustache in all of pro-basketball. Incomplete.
Zaza Pachulia: No beard. However, this.
Josh Powell: Stubbly goatee. 2 out 5 deja vu's.
Josh Smith: Goatee. Acceptable point five.
Jeff Teague: UPDATE: 'Stache gone. VERDICT: Improvement.
Etan Thomas: Goatee. A Goatee America Can Love.
Marvin Williams: Mustache. 3 stars.
Guiding Text
Waiting for Lefty
If They Were A Pokemon They Would Be...
Machamp
LeBron on the Hawks
Leaves lazily floated across the water’s surface. Leaves, pine needles, bugs and dust. Sand and some of the heavier bits had already sunk to the bottom. It had been a while since anyone had used the pool. A month or two. Summer turns to fall quick, though, apparently fall was interminable. Sharp jabs of winter would punch through eventually, but for the most part the weather would stay in that uncomfortable middle ground. The mornings where cool, even cold and he’d pack a sweater, but in the afternoon he’d be sweaty, awkward in the cardigan. There is something to be said for a more-defined fall.
On the other hand, it was mid-October, and, conceivably, he could still use the pool. That was nice. He skimmed the leaves and grime off the top with the net. He saw a couple of feathers floating on the surface. Dark feathers. From ducks? Ducks or geese. Were they just stopping through? Did they start here and go to the tropics or did they start in Canada with the purpose of ultimately ending here, floating atop Lake LeBron. He supposed he’d see them fly back North in a few months. Do ducks fly in formation or is that just geese? LeBron skimmed some more feathers off the pool. He wondered how much of the year birds spent migrating.
Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.
Showing posts with label hawks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hawks. Show all posts
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 15, 2009
2009-10 Team Previews: Atlanta Hawks
Welcome to another wonderful installment in the web's best NBA team previews. So magical that you will be filled with wonder and astonishment and a mystical sense of the magical and mystical magic that is mystic, yet also magic. To check out all the entries in the series, you can click here.
Today, we will be discussing the Atlanta Hawks, a young talented team that has been young, talented, fun, and bursting with promise for a long time. Now, they are ready to collect on that promise.
Classification
Team That I Like
Things I Like
I basically really like every single player on this team. No seriously. The rotation is almost entirely unimpeachable. Of their starters, who are you going to criticize? There is no one. Maybe, Marvin Williams? You might, but I would never. I love Marvin Gaye Williams in all of his resplendent nerdiness and soulfulness. Mike Bibby is a consummate professional who is making precisely the correct amount he should be making. Al Horford is a legitimate and talented young center. Joe Johnson and Josh Smith are supremely gifted basketball players. And then you are bringing Jeff Teague, Mo Evans, and Jamal Crawford off the bench? Seriously? That's just beautiful.
This team is young, talented, and more athletic than just about any team they will ever square off against. They have all been fairly seasoned, they have all tasted the play-offs.
Hell, I even happen to think that "Hawks" is one of the better team names.
Things I Don't Like
Mike Woodson is not the best coach in the world and that statement isn't exactly the slightest of understatements.
Something about Zaza Pachulia's game annoys me. I don't know what. I'm intrigued by him because of his Georgian origin, yet it also gives rise to one of the more uncomfortable hypothetical questions in terms of NBA players: If he were alive today, would Stalin claim Pachulia as his favorite player?
Mythology
Jamal Crawford is the longest tenured player in the NBA who has never tasted the playoffs. Jamal labored with the Bulls during the dark years of the early part of the decade and then played for the Knicks during the height of the Isiah Thomas era. He managed to join the Knicks this year just in time for the post-Baron Davis disintegration of one of the most exciting teams of the decade. Jamal Crawford is a great player who has been stuck on terrible teams. Is Jamal Crawford cursed? It seems fairly likely. Though a cursory (GET IT?!) examination of Jamal's past turns up no evidence of betraying Roma fortune tellers, uncovering pharaoh tombs, or stealing any sort of Tiki-idols, my investigation has been far from exhaustive. The Hawks front office should investigate this to be sure. If ever a player and team deserves to be free of curses it's Jamal Crawford and the Atlanta Hawks
Prophecy
Marvin Gaye Williams will sing the national anthem and simultaneously solve a Rubix cube.
You will still not know who Joe Johnson is. Josh Smith will dunk the moon.
Related Media
VerdictWatch every game you can and love this team with few reservations. It's okay to cringe when Josh Smith jacks up threes.
Today, we will be discussing the Atlanta Hawks, a young talented team that has been young, talented, fun, and bursting with promise for a long time. Now, they are ready to collect on that promise.
Classification
Team That I Like
Things I Like
I basically really like every single player on this team. No seriously. The rotation is almost entirely unimpeachable. Of their starters, who are you going to criticize? There is no one. Maybe, Marvin Williams? You might, but I would never. I love Marvin Gaye Williams in all of his resplendent nerdiness and soulfulness. Mike Bibby is a consummate professional who is making precisely the correct amount he should be making. Al Horford is a legitimate and talented young center. Joe Johnson and Josh Smith are supremely gifted basketball players. And then you are bringing Jeff Teague, Mo Evans, and Jamal Crawford off the bench? Seriously? That's just beautiful.
This team is young, talented, and more athletic than just about any team they will ever square off against. They have all been fairly seasoned, they have all tasted the play-offs.
Hell, I even happen to think that "Hawks" is one of the better team names.
Things I Don't Like
Mike Woodson is not the best coach in the world and that statement isn't exactly the slightest of understatements.
Something about Zaza Pachulia's game annoys me. I don't know what. I'm intrigued by him because of his Georgian origin, yet it also gives rise to one of the more uncomfortable hypothetical questions in terms of NBA players: If he were alive today, would Stalin claim Pachulia as his favorite player?
Mythology
Jamal Crawford is the longest tenured player in the NBA who has never tasted the playoffs. Jamal labored with the Bulls during the dark years of the early part of the decade and then played for the Knicks during the height of the Isiah Thomas era. He managed to join the Knicks this year just in time for the post-Baron Davis disintegration of one of the most exciting teams of the decade. Jamal Crawford is a great player who has been stuck on terrible teams. Is Jamal Crawford cursed? It seems fairly likely. Though a cursory (GET IT?!) examination of Jamal's past turns up no evidence of betraying Roma fortune tellers, uncovering pharaoh tombs, or stealing any sort of Tiki-idols, my investigation has been far from exhaustive. The Hawks front office should investigate this to be sure. If ever a player and team deserves to be free of curses it's Jamal Crawford and the Atlanta Hawks
Prophecy
Marvin Gaye Williams will sing the national anthem and simultaneously solve a Rubix cube.
You will still not know who Joe Johnson is. Josh Smith will dunk the moon.
Related Media
VerdictWatch every game you can and love this team with few reservations. It's okay to cringe when Josh Smith jacks up threes.
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