Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Marvin Williams Can Solve A Rubix Cube

After helping the University of North Carolina Tar Heels win the national championship in 2005, Marvin Williams, as a freshman, was drafted second overall in the NBA draft, landing with the Atlanta Hawks. Since then, he has slowly but steadily become a reliable contributor for the talented, but still young, Hawks. This season saw Marvin expand his offensive arsenal with the addition of a 3-point shot before injuries limited his playing time at the end of the season and playoffs. Right now, Marvin Williams is a free agent. He is also a nerd. I base this on this video:

It's not that he speed-solves Rubix cubes, it's the way he talks about it. Listen to how he describes getting into it. There isn't any doubt in my mind: Marvin Williams is a nerd in the most John Hodgman sense of the word. He may be an incredibly skilled athlete, making millions on his basketball skills, but I am convinced that Marvin Williams is no jock, but rather the nerdiest geek and the geekiest nerd who ever geeked or nerded. If the video isn't sufficient proof, I present to you some TRUE FACTS as evidence.

Marvin Williams promised himself he wouldn't even start the final season of Battlestar Galactica until playoffs were over. His favorite comic books are golden age adventure comics but he has a soft spot in his heart for the Alan Moore run of Swamp Thing. He likes xkcd, but thinks that it's a little obnoxious and preachy sometimes. Marvin Williams's preferred browser is Opera but he isn't a snob about it. He once got into a heated argument with Josh Childress about whether Star Wars or Star Trek was better; this was the reason that Josh Childress left and the reason that Mike Woodson won't let Marvin wear his Starfleet insigna during practice or games. Marvin Williams considers himself to be a 5th level/5th level barbarian/ranger with above average ability scores and a plethora of magical items. Marvin Williams will never tell them this, but he thinks Josh Smith looks a cave troll and Adam Morrison looks like Frodo Baggins. He once told Rajon Rondo he looked like Gollum and Rondo's staunch refusal to acknowledge this led to a physical altercation. This was during the 2008 Playoffs. Marvin Williams takes his Tolkien that seriously. He plays a blue counterspelling permissions deck when he plays Magic: The Gathering. He is considering trying to get a little more into steampunk.

Watch the video of him solving the Rubix cube again. I'm not trying to be mean. How could these facts not be true?


  1. How much of this is about Marvin, and how much about Kellen? It was the snide steampunk comment comment that tipped me off. I heard that Marvin is working on a green weenie deck, but is having trouble with the mana ratios. . .

  2. You know, I don't agree with any of Marvin's nerd positions, actually. Well, we might have the same view about xkcd, actually.

    And I don't want to live in a world where making fun of steampunk is wrong.