Friday, July 17, 2009

Introducing Tyler to Mom

I'm still collecting dreams about basketball players. Send your dreams to and we can all be collectively weirded out over your penchant for frosting and Vince Carter. In any case, it's time to share some facts and dreams:

FACT: Dreaming about dating Tyler Hansbrough is really common. Even if you don't follow basketball. Even if you think he is stupid.

Here is a dream about dating Tyler Hansbrough from Special Dream Correspondent Juli:

I have a somewhat recurring dream that Tyler Hansbrough is my college boyfriend. It bears mentioning that I go to the University of North Carolina and have for the past few years, but I don't follow basketball. He is just a giant wandering around the town. A bizarre local attraction who I spot occasionally: more yeti than person. Always blurry, always peripheral, he lumbers into Carrburitos on Cinco de Mayo and buries his melancholy with chilli cheese fries at Joe's Joint late at night while the tourists gawk and take pictures.

In any case, I've had this dream three or four times: In these dreams, he's my boyfriend. He's dumb, but really sweet, which is pretty much how I imagine he actually is. He's also shy and awkward, but I find that goofy and charming. Whenever I bring him home to meet my parents, they are always understandably thrilled. My mother always takes me aside and nudges me, saying "We're so glad you finally brought home a nice young man." My mom doesn't even talk like that. She does really like Tyler Hansbrough and is always excited when I mention seeing him around town. I guess he somehow represents everything my mom would want in a boyfriend of mine. Actually, not so much in a boyfriend of mine, but in the daughter she wished she had.

So there's that.

Anyway, he inevitably breaks up with me when I ask him to go to the Nightlight. I guess it's just not his Scene. And whenever he breaks the news to me, he's always wearing Carolina blue seersucker: the embodiment of pretty much everything I hate. I think I am upset afterwards, but by the time I wake up, I'm sort of relieved. I don't think I could deal with the pressure of being Psycho-T's girlfriend.

Usually, I have it before I have to bring home some guy to meet my mom. I guess these dreams will (sadly) have to stop now that he is a college graduate.

Send your dreams about Tyler Hansbrough or other basketball players to

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