Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tyler Hansbrough is Some Cosmic Archetype

Tyler Hansbrough continues to haunt all of our dreams. If you have had a dream about Tyler Hansbrough or any other basketball player, I'd like to hear about them. Email your stories about how you fell in love with a short-armed power-forward-playing manchild to

Special Dream Correspondent Lorelle checks in with the following VISION OF LOVE:
It was a dark and stormy night. Or maybe it was balmy but otherwise pleasant. Anyway, so I'm in Best Buy (first sign that this is not real life) about to check out when I see that Tyler Hansborough is in line in front of me. We strike up a conversation and out of nowhere he takes me on his arm and we perambulate about the store. I spy Eminem flipping through his own stuff in the CD section (tacky) and persuade Tyler to stand next to him for comparison.* Em has no idea what he's doing and we giggle conspiratorily at his expense. Tyler asks if I'd like to go out with him sometime and I agree. The next day he calls and invites me to come hang out with him and the team. When I get there, the team that he is referring to is a bunch of 4th graders he coaches and has taken to the Walmart McDonalds for a post-game celebration. I'm a little pissed because like, srsly Tyler, this is it? But he doesn't seem to notice my disappointment and enthusiastically waves for me to join him at a booth next to the Playspace.** All the little boys are like "ooooooh Tyler has a girlfrieeeeeeeeend" and he blushes and introduces me to the kids, "Hey guys, this is my Lorelle I've been telling you about." It was all very sweet, if simple. JUST LIKE TYLER.

*This is a direct result of my friend accusing me of thinking all white people look alike for comparing the two.
**Inaccurate because I don't think they put playspaces in Walmart Micky-D's.

If there existed a YouTube video of Tyler Hansbrough highlights set to a mash-up of Eminem rapping over "Dreams" by the Cranberries, you can rest assured that I would put it right here. If you find such a thing, send me the link or your dreams to

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