Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dreams: Human Sacrifice, Alien Bloodsport, and Tyler Hansbrough on the Keys

The first entry in this space began with me recalling a dream in which Wayne Ellington sacrificed me Aztec-style on top of a pyramid. This was weird. However, I'm not the only one who has bizarre dreams about basketball players. Special Dreams Correspondent Thomas sends along three dreams about basketball that are recounted below. If you have a dream featuring professional or collegiate basketball players, I strongly urge you to send a description and, when possible, a potential interpretation of your ballin' related dream. You can send these dreams, along with any other questions, comments, or silliness to

Here is a dream about Dwayne Wade at a church picnic:
The dream begins with me at a church picnic. This isn't odd; I volunteer with a church that throws lunches and stuff all the time. Then Dwyane Wade shows up in his jersey and band-aid. I go over and talk to him about his season and ask him what his secret is. He says "I must sacrifice a virgin before every game." Then he grabs this little girl and runs away with her shrieking over his shoulder. I try to run after him, but come on, he's D-Wade, and he gets away.

Here is a dream about Tyler Hansbrough:
Tyler Hansbrough is a recurrent figure in my dreams. The only one I remember right now is one where my friend Brandon, Tyler, and myself all start a band. I'm on drums, Tyler's on keys, and Brandon's on bass. I interpret this as my attempt at ordering my id, ego, and superego through projection and sublimation. I've always wanted to start a band, and maybe I projected myself onto Tyler. I honestly think it's because we have the same initials and are highly driven white dudes.

Here is a dream about basketball as alien bloodsport ala Space Jam:
The human race had been taken over by aliens, and they had organized us on these long hanging clasps that attached to a conveyor belt, kind of like the doors in "Monsters, Inc." Each human had a number, and when the aliens wanted us they pressed our number and we zoomed around to the take-off point. They had this sport kind of like the Aztec sport, Tlatchtli, in that the losers were sacrificed to the gods, but it was basketball. Anyway, I became the bloodsport alien basketball superstar and got to roam around off my coathangar. I found the breeding pits where the aliens kept women, and I found my friend there and tried to rescue her, but she refused to abandon her alien baby.

Please, please: If you have dreams like this about basketball, email me at

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