Friday, October 15, 2010

2010 Season Preview: Atlanta Hawks

It's time for the Love in the Time of LeBron 2010 Season Team Previews. You know the rules. First up: the dirtiest birds, the Atlanta Hawks

Classification
Team That Should Be More Exciting Than It Is

Why We Care
The promise of Josh Smith can't be ignored, Al Horford is a joy to watch play and you may think Joe Johnson is overpaid and overrated, but there aren't ten basketball players in the entire world who can bring what he brings to the table. The Hawks should be exciting. We care because one day they might be.

Significant Beards
Evan Brock: Terrible goatee. Shave that. Also, who are you?
Jason Collins: Goatee. Weak.
Al Horford: Yet another stubbly goatee. What is it with this team?
Joe Johnson: Potential for the sweetest mustache in all of pro-basketball. Incomplete.
Zaza Pachulia: No beard. However, this.
Josh Powell: Stubbly goatee. 2 out 5 deja vu's.
Josh Smith: Goatee. Acceptable point five.
Jeff Teague: UPDATE: 'Stache gone. VERDICT: Improvement.
Etan Thomas: Goatee. A Goatee America Can Love.
Marvin Williams: Mustache. 3 stars.

Guiding Text
Waiting for Lefty

If They Were A Pokemon They Would Be...
Machamp

LeBron on the Hawks
Leaves lazily floated across the water’s surface. Leaves, pine needles, bugs and dust. Sand and some of the heavier bits had already sunk to the bottom. It had been a while since anyone had used the pool. A month or two. Summer turns to fall quick, though, apparently fall was interminable. Sharp jabs of winter would punch through eventually, but for the most part the weather would stay in that uncomfortable middle ground. The mornings where cool, even cold and he’d pack a sweater, but in the afternoon he’d be sweaty, awkward in the cardigan. There is something to be said for a more-defined fall.

On the other hand, it was mid-October, and, conceivably, he could still use the pool. That was nice. He skimmed the leaves and grime off the top with the net. He saw a couple of feathers floating on the surface. Dark feathers. From ducks? Ducks or geese. Were they just stopping through? Did they start here and go to the tropics or did they start in Canada with the purpose of ultimately ending here, floating atop Lake LeBron. He supposed he’d see them fly back North in a few months. Do ducks fly in formation or is that just geese? LeBron skimmed some more feathers off the pool. He wondered how much of the year birds spent migrating.

Rosetta Stone
This pretty much explains it.

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