Sunday, April 11, 2010

Thomas Dreams About Being Lebron's Nanny

Today, we have another entry from the subconscious of Very Special Dream Correspondent Thomas. You may remember his dream about getting in a hot tub with Derek Fisher, the one where he talks to Troy Murphy about his venereal disease, and the one where he uncovers Dwyane Wade's propensity for human sacrifice. You know how we love dreams about basketball players, so I happily send this Freudian delight on to you, dear reader. If you'd like to submit your own dream, email me at


This started like a normal dream: I'm at dinner with some grad student friends. Our drinks just came, but before I can take a sip, my boss texts me. This is normal, I tell my dream self, because my boss is Lebron James, and I am nanny to his children.

Apologizing for having to leave, I depart, but apparently everyone knows this happens a lot (there was a weird sense of me watching myself, saying "these people should not be acting this way because this is not my life"). Lebron Junior apparently wants to have a playdate, thus am I summoned. On the way to the Casa del Rey (that's what I called it!) I am accosted by a busload of Duke fans. We start talking trash, but then they shut up because Lebron has come to the street to tell me the specifics of his son's wishes. Lebron tells them to say "hey" to Coach K, then nods me inside.

Once in the house, I walk over to the crib where his newborn daughter is (I don't know if this is accurate) and pick her up. We move to the kitchen and I begin to make a bottle while Lebron gives me the details of his son's party. Something to do with basketball, predictably. Anyway, Lebron departs to go play, Junior's friends come over and leave, then I teach Junior how to play chess. This is how Lebron finds us when he returns, hunched over a chessboard, me with a baby on my lap bottle feeding her. He pays me cash, and I wake up.

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